Hadley Freeman shared her 20-year-long battle with anorexia in an article for The Sunday Times magazine. She is a mum of three, a journalist, and a writer. Her new book, “Good Girls: A Story and Study of Anorexia,” was published on 13 April 2023.
A common definition of an eating disorder is a form of mental illness marked by disordered or irregular eating habits that can negatively impact an individual's emotional and physical well-being. Significant physical, psychological, and social issues can result from eating disorders, which frequently involve an obsessive focus on body weight, shape, and size. Hadley was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. In her case, it manifested as an obsession with controlling her weight through food restriction, excessive exercise, or both. Anorexia sufferers will often have a distorted image of their bodies, thinking that they are overweight even if they are underweight. It typically starts in the mid-teens and is more prevalent in young women, although men, as well as women, can get anorexia. For 14-year-old Hadley, the trigger point leading up to full-blown anorexia was just one presumptively innocent comment from her friend, who described Hadley’s dress size as ‘normal’. Hadley believes that her anorexia had always been lurking somewhere inside of her; the comment had only opened the gates to its unstoppable force. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that eating disorders are often a manifestation of a deeper psychological issue, such as low self-esteem or a need for control. In this view, eating disorders are seen as a way to manage difficult emotions or experiences, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. Additionally, the psychoanalytic perspective emphasises the importance of exploring the individual's past experiences and relationships with their carers to identify the issue's root.
In the article, Hadley describes her struggles with the eating disorder. She calls it “addiction to starvation”, causing her to stop using lip gloss as she was worried that chewing on her lips would increase her calorie intake. She also convinced herself that inhaling the smell of food would extract calories from the food particles. Apart from restricting her food intake, Hadley also exercised, which made her feel weak and injured. Hadley’s perspective on her eating disorder started to shift after over two years of being in and out of various psychiatric wards. She was just over 16 years old when she decided she would not have a “temper tantrum over a piece of toast,” unlike one of her fellow patients who was twice her age when she observed her on her 32nd birthday. She also started psychotherapy and felt understood by her therapist. Psychotherapy for eating disorders typically involves working with the patient to identify and explore the underlying psychological conflicts and developmental issues that may be contributing to their disorder. Psychotherapy also aims to help the patient develop a stronger sense of self and a more positive relationship with their body. This may involve exploring the patient's beliefs about their body and appearance and developing coping strategies for managing difficult emotions and experiences.
The road towards recovery was not easy. As Hadley remarks, for the next 20 years, she had two main jobs: “being a functioning anorectic and being a functioning but extremely obsessive adult riddled with OCD”. She was mindful of not getting back to anorexia and instead became involved with men who were drug addicts and subsequently started taking drugs herself. Hadley concludes that entering a stable relationship with someone “who was nice” and “not a heroin addict” as well as becoming a mother helped her overcome anorexia but did not cure her of it. Time was her cure. She managed to outgrow the need to hold onto the anorexia label to make herself feel special.
Psychoanalytic Reflection
Hadley Freeman’s journey with anorexia, described as an “addiction to starvation,” also offers a rich opportunity for psychoanalytic reflection from various perspectives, including Freudian, Lacanian, and object relations theories. These perspectives can deepen our understanding of the psychological dynamics underlying anorexia and its persistence over time.
Freudian Perspective
From a Freudian point of view, anorexia may be seen as a manifestation of internal conflict between the id, ego, and superego. The id represents basic, instinctual desires, including hunger, while the superego represents the internalised standards of society, which, in anorexia, may impose unrealistic ideals of thinness and control. The ego, caught in between, struggles to mediate these demands, leading to restrictive behaviours. Freud often conceptualised symptoms like anorexia in terms of repressed unconscious drives or unresolved childhood conflicts, especially those related to sexuality and control.
In Hadley’s case, the trigger of her friend’s comment on her “normal” dress size might be interpreted through a Freudian lens as an event that activated deeper unconscious conflicts related to self-worth, femininity, and control. The comment, although seemingly innocuous, might have resonated with unresolved tensions from her early childhood experiences. Freud would potentially view her intense focus on controlling her body as a displacement of anxieties surrounding her sense of identity, worth, and autonomy—especially during adolescence, a period Freud associated with heightened sexual and identity development.
The starvation Hadley experienced could be viewed as a symbolic rejection of bodily desires, perhaps linked to deeper anxieties about her emerging sexuality and identity as a woman. Freud’s notion of oral fixation might also be relevant here; the avoidance of food becomes a defence mechanism to repress deeper emotional and psychological needs that are not being met.
Lacanian Perspective
Lacan offers another layer of understanding anorexia by focusing on the structures of language and desire. From a Lacanian perspective, anorexia can be seen as a refusal of the maternal Other’s demand—an attempt to reject the desire of the Other (society, parents, or symbolic figures) to be a certain way, i.e., “normal.” The anorexic subject, in this case, tries to assert their own autonomy by denying their body the nourishment it needs, subverting the expectations imposed by the symbolic order.
For Hadley, the label of “normal” might have signified an imposition of societal standards, a symbol that negated her subjective experience. Her refusal to eat could then be interpreted as a rejection of the Other’s demand to conform to a normative image of femininity, instead using her body as a site of rebellion. Lacanian psychoanalysis often highlights the notion of the “lack”—an idea that human beings are structured around a fundamental absence or void. In Hadley’s case, her anorexia could be seen as an attempt to control or fill this lack through starvation, symbolically denying the need for the Other’s validation.
Object Relations Perspective
Object relations theory, particularly as developed by Melanie Klein and later theorists, suggests that anorexia can be understood as a struggle with internalised object relations, particularly early experiences with caregivers. The internal world of the anorexic is often shaped by harsh, critical internal objects that demand perfection or control. These internalised objects might stem from early relational experiences where the child’s needs for love and acceptance were either unmet or overly conditional.
For Hadley, her struggles with food and body image may reflect a deeper relational issue, where food becomes symbolic of love, nourishment, and attachment. Starving herself could be understood as a way to maintain control in the face of overwhelming feelings of dependency or vulnerability. Hadley’s self-described “addiction to starvation” could then be a defence against perceived engulfment or loss of control in relationships, particularly with carers. The notion of being “too full” or “too satisfied” might unconsciously represent a fear of dependence or submission to the demands of others.
Moreover, her relationship with food can be seen as a distorted internal relationship with a primary carer. The refusal to eat might symbolize a rejection of the nurturing caregiver (often represented by the mother), reflecting a more complex ambivalence towards dependence and independence. In this context, her anorexia could be a form of self-punishment—an attempt to control the internalised punishing object.
The Role of Time and Recovery
Hadley’s recovery over time, influenced by entering a stable relationship and becoming a mother, can also be explored psychoanalytically. Her relationship with a “nice” partner, as opposed to previous relationships with people that she described as addicts, suggests a shift in her internal object relations. This could signify a reworking of her internal dynamics, where the once punishing, rejecting internal object has been replaced by a more accepting, nurturing one. The act of becoming a mother may have provided a new, reparative experience where she could project care onto her children, thereby healing some of her own internal wounds.
In conclusion, Freeman’s long struggle with anorexia can be illuminated by Freudian, Lacanian, and object relations theories. Her “addiction to starvation” can be seen as a complex interplay of unconscious drives and early relational conflicts. The eventual shift in her self-perception, fostered by psychotherapy and stable relationships, points to the transformative potential of reworking internal object relations and negotiating the demands of desire in a way that allows for greater integration and autonomy.
The Rise of Eating Disorders in the UK
Freeman’s story is set against a backdrop of increasing rates of eating disorders in the UK. Hospital admissions for eating disorders, including anorexia, have risen sharply. In 2022, the Royal College of Psychiatrists reported that admissions had increased by 84% over five years, with a significant 128% rise among boys and men from 2015 to 2020. Hospital admissions for eating disorders increased by 84% in the last five years. The rise in cases can be attributed to various factors, including the pervasive influence of social media, which promotes unrealistic beauty standards, and the widespread cultural obsession with dieting and body image. Additionally, traumatic life experiences or genetic predispositions can trigger these disorders, making them highly complex and individualised illnesses. It's important to note that eating disorders are complex mental illnesses that can be caused by a combination of factors, and not everyone who experiences these risk factors will develop an eating disorder. Eating disorders can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, race, or socioeconomic status.
A Few of the Charities That Could be of Help
- Beat eating disorders
- Mind eating problems
- oagb
- TalkED
- Hub of Hope, a UK's mental health support database